Congratulations on having choices! It’s a good problem to have. What can be a challenge is getting exactly the offer you want-- the right school with the right aid package. Here are my tips for asking for what you need:

There is a whole world of discussion out there about which schools will offer more money and in what form. Moreover, financial aid-- need-based aid-- is distinct from merit aid, which is a discount on the cost of attendance that is unrelated to financial need. This post deals not with which specific schools will give what amount of aid money but with how to negotiate your award package in whatever form it comes (need-based or not). 

That said, it is useful to know what your school typically offers and for what kind of student so that you are knowledgeable about the range of aid available before you begin the conversation. For example, Penn State notoriously offers very little merit aid ($5,000/year for students admitted to the Schreyer Honors College), but its total annual cost for an out-of-state student of $47,000 is still lower than that of, say, Syracuse, whose total cost is $72,000 and often awards merit aid in the $20k range. Bottom line: know what you are up against.

You have leverage because colleges want to maximize their yield

In any negotiation, and this one is no different, leverage helps. When I talk about negotiation, this doesn’t need to be a zero-sum game. Rather than thinking about a pie from which you are trying to slice the largest piece (leaving your negotiating partner with a smaller piece), think of a pie that you and your negotiating partner-- in this case, your first-choice school-- can share, savoring it in a relationship that you are enjoying together. 

Your leverage is that the school wants its admitted students to enroll. The school cares on an overall level about its yield. The more of the admitted students who accept the offer, the better the school looks, and the more it helps its regional and national rankings and reputation.

The other leverage is specific to you. This school wants you to attend by definition: it has admitted you. But schools want some students more than others. Do you have a particularly high GPA? Stellar test scores? Will you be filling seats in the orchestra or the kind of student who will be running food drives? Think about what makes you attractive to the school.

Your last and likely most influential piece of potential leverage is if you have financial offers from other schools that will make them more attractive than this school is to your family. I always advise approaching these conversations honestly and in good faith. Don’t represent that the school is your first choice if it is not. It would be poor taste to negotiate an offer up if you have no intention of accepting it. 

How should I negotiate my college admissions offer?

I would approach the conversation like this:

• My daughter loves this school and wants to attend for x, y, and z reasons (be specific about her fit with the school)

• Her candidacy is very attractive (e.g. she is an A student, her scores are well above the median, etc.)

• She has financial offers from A and B school that make it more affordable than your school is

• Our family has (when true) other financial obligations (other siblings in school, sick parent, unemployment, etc.) 

• Can you offer more merit aid for my student? 

• In addition, are there school scholarships for which she would be eligible that she can apply to now? 

Many schools will be receptive to such a conversation. It’s always worth asking for what you want-- you won’t know until you try!