Lessons Learned from a College Admissions Coach
After coaching hundreds of high school students over the years, I finally had the chance to guide my oldest child through his college admissions journey, and I am thrilled for him to start college this fall at exactly where he wants to be. That’s one down, three to go for our family of four kids! I had my own advice confirmed for me and also gained some new insights this year that I want to share with all of you:
A high GPA is more important than AP courses for most students; don’t cling to high academic rigor when it is the wrong fit for you
My number one mistake with my oldest was holding him to a high level of academic rigor in subjects that weren’t his strength. It took me too long to realize that, and his grades early in high school suffered as a result. While Yale, Cal Tech, and Haverford will want to see the highest rigor in courses across the board (along with As), not every school will, and getting Cs and Ds instead of As and Bs will make life much harder for the college applicant.
How Do I Pick the Right Courses?
Start early
Test prep: When to start and how long to prepare
My son knew he would be pursuing a fine arts degree, and I knew that testing wasn’t his primary strength. I surveyed all the colleges he was interested in, and it was clear to me that having a test score wouldn’t be needed for admissions, and that unless he scored very high, the score was not going to be material for getting more merit aid. We decided to skip testing altogether, and I never regretted it for a moment. His time was better spent on his art portfolio and essays.
That was the right choice for my kid, but it is not necessarily what your student should choose. We saw a lot of movement in the test-optional space in 2024, with numerous selective colleges returning to requiring SAT or ACT scores. Every student should decide whether to prep for and take tests, which test to take (SAT or ACT) and how and when to prep for tests. Having a strong score is always an asset, so if your student has a shot at that, putting time and effort into test prep can pay off in acceptances and merit aid.
If a student has completed Algebra 2 in sophomore year, the summer before junior year is often the best time to start prepping for tests, as most students will need 3-4 months of prep before the first test, many students will take 2-4 exams total, and by the middle of junior year, many students are fully occupied (overwhelmed!) by the coursework and activity load. Start early to give your student enough time to accomplish the task, which can take as long as nine or even twelve months.
College Research: Start visits by early junior year
We were on vacation near Rochester in July before my son’s junior year, so we booked a visit at RIT, which had programs related to his academic interests. I knew it probably wasn’t the right fit for my kid, though it is an excellent school, so we chose it as a warm-up tour. We asked questions, took notes, and by the end, my son was much more relaxed about how to do tours so that when we toured in earnest that fall, he was prepared.
What Should You Consider When Touring Colleges?
Start visiting colleges at the end of sophomore year or early junior year to get a sense for what type of school your student likes.
CTK’s Top College List Building Tips
Consider the three most important considerations for college choice: which colleges will want your student academically, which colleges your student will want based on preference, and which colleges will be in your budget.
My son had a handful of friends with similar interests, so we teamed up, building in a group trip to Montreal, Boston and Providence during fall break and taking turns bringing kids to other sites nearer to home throughout the rest of junior year. It made the process more fun for the students (and parents!) and helped us trade ideas and keep up the momentum.
If you have a budget for college, build your college list around it. It is not an afterthought. Know the difference between meets need schools and non-meets need schools, as well as typical merit aid at any individual college.
Our family knew we would not qualify for financial aid but that we could not afford the most expensive schools, so ultimately my student’s list had colleges that at sticker price would be in budget as well as colleges that could be in reach depending on the amount of merit aid awarded. We talked openly as a family throughout the process about what would be affordable, and my kid knew that some schools would be a no-go if costs didn’t come down.
Preparing an Affordable College List
Try not to fall in love with a “one and only” college
Although students will have preferences– that’s the whole point of college research– try, REALLY try, to not elevate any one school as the very best or first choice. We tried and failed at that a few times. It is hard. But we just kept reminding each other that we had a lot of great potential colleges to choose from if he got in.
Maintain strong relationships with teachers and ask early for letters of recommendation
Do not sleep on this: teacher recommendations are an important component of most students’ college applications. My son was fortunate to have had some exceptional teachers in sophomore and junior year who supported and mentored him. He in turn spent time with them outside of class and developed those relationships so that when it was time for him to seek letters of recommendation, they were eager to help him.
Getting Your Strongest Letters of Recommendation
My son asked early– long before the end of junior year– and then provided teachers with whatever surveys they requested and also included his resume, college essay, and a note of appreciation in an email to them. He then followed up with his teachers to let them know how he was doing with acceptances.
Be patient: deferrals and waitlists
Oh, the agony of the deferral! I have walked countless students through deferrals from early action and early decision schools, but when my own child was deferred from his first choice school, it was fairly devastating for him, and therefore for me. As hard as we had tried not to have a first choice, we had one, and that rejection hurt. I gained newfound empathy for students who face the uncertainty of a deferral and must wait months for a final resolution.
2024 Admissions Trends: Why Are So Many Students Getting Deferred?
Another thing I gained was patience. I am always telling my students that this story is not fully written until all is over, and that was true for my kid too. After the deferral he was waitlisted (!) but eventually admitted and will be attending where he most wanted to go.
This year and last, especially, I have had many students get off of waitlists and enroll in colleges they were thrilled to get into. They just had to let life play out. In the meantime, though, we made our peace with another excellent choice on his list, and I was reminded that if you build the college list well, you will always have good options.
Wait to negotiate
Did I say patience? Stay with me here. Colleges will be making their best merit offers and be most willing to negotiate as they approach their enrollment deadlines (typically May 1). If you are comparing offers, do not accept until you are ready, no matter how many emails you get. Remember that you are in your strongest negotiating position when you have a spot at a college but you have not yet committed. Play it out, even from the wait list.
Take your emotional cues from your student
I had a gut feeling that my son’s journey was going to take us to the very end of the year, and it turned out I was right. I had to remind myself often to leave my anxiety aside so as not to stress him out. Someone once told me to mirror my own teens’ reactions and not impose my own, and I carried that advice with me through the admissions process. If my son was upset, I let him know I was too, and if he shrugged something off, then so did I. This was his journey after all, not mine, and I did my best to play a supporting role and let him take the lead on both actions and emotions.
